Kissing or Sex: Which Is More Important?

Posted on July 28, 2012


Interesting topic, but one which requires an in-depth response….

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg, kissing or sex? Which is more intimate?

To some, kissing is more intimate than having sex, while some believe sex is more intimate than kissing. The argument for the former: “Kissing is more intimate because it’s like sharing my heart . I could be forced to have sex but not to kiss. I can be kissed but you can’t make me kiss you back (a woman’s perspective)” For the latter: “I could easily forgive my partner kissing someone else than if they had sex”

Not arguing either for or against. The deciding factor for me has to be the intention and emotion behind the act. Sex you can have because of sexual attraction or lust. Kissing in the true sense of the word, is motivated by the heart. Yes, both kissing and sex can be a physical act, devoid of any emotion based on two people being in lust. I see you, am sexually attracted to you and want to kiss your lovely shaped, lipstick painted kissable lips. Yet I don’t think I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

You see me, and whatever it is that you find sexually appealing or attractive in me, makes you want to have sex with me, but you are not thinking husband or relationship material. You see me just as a “tool” to help scratch an itch or fantasy you have. In the passion of that moment kisses are exchanged and will in most likelihood be forgotten about no sooner after the act.

Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” as a prostitute offered sex for sale but drew the line on kissing her clients. In real life, many people including prostitutes, don’t draw that line; its about the “job” or the moment.

What makes kissing so special in my opinion, is that when true affection is involved, when you truly love someone, kissing is what your heart naturally gravitates towards. And when two hearts are in sync and share the same feelings, kissing is what the heart wants to do. After which comes the cuddling, holding and touching because it’s something you instinctively and consciously want to do.

If you ever looked for signs of being loved, this would be it for me; especially if you have your eyes wide open. You can’t fake such affection. When the heart has not yet given itself to you, it does not want to be kissed by you, no matter who you are. This is why kissing is more important than sex for some.

The world in my opinion, is now and has been upside down for a very long time. Time was is that a woman giving up herself to a man signified the ultimate sacrifice and act of love. The ultimate sacrifice because women are wired differently to men. The earth is symbolized as a woman or female and the man, symbolized as being the heaven and quite rightly too. In that one act of intercourse between heaven and earth, the heaven pours or gives into the earth all that it unseen and the earth the receiver absorbs and then physically gives birth to life in its many facets.

With this understanding comes my belief that women absorb the essence of men in the act of sex. What a man is (his traits, characteristics, mentality and demeanour) , that is what he gives to the woman. Therefore, I believe that a woman is affected emotionally, mentally, physically and otherwise in the very act of sex. Ergo if a man is a thief, the woman becomes affected by the spirit of thievery and will give birth to children with similar traits.

So it stands to reason, based on my beliefs, that whatever the earth brings forth is what it receives from the heaven. So what happens in instances that the woman has had several or numerous partners…

Many centuries ago, as far back as the stone age, women chose their male partners based on the ability to be good hunters, having good bone structure and strong. They also smelt the potential partner to ensure he had the right smell. They were smart! As unsophisticated as their method was, it was appropriate to their time.

Today, people carry out medical tests to ensure they won’t have problems before, during and after conception with their prospective partner. But what about the essence of the man or woman as the question may be? We all are a products of our parentage, the blood received from our parents that went into moulding us.

Time was it when a woman represented all that was pure and true and was placed on a pedestal. Unfortunate at the time women were considered so, men generally had not evolved to the point of realizing how not to just hold women in high esteem in ideals and theory, but in practice, treat them with such gentility and dignity, which as we all know helped usher in the women’s lib.

As a child, I somehow believed, knew and understood that a woman giving herself up to you was her totally giving all that she was and is to you in that single act of sex. It was something rare to be treasured and honoured by the fortunate man. Somehow until recently, I seemed to have forgotten that I hold such values. It is said, evil or unsavoury communication corrupts good manners, how true! Living in a world of hypocrisy, that right becomes wrong, and wrong right, anyone can be almost be forgiven for allowing their good manners to be corrupted.

So which do you consider important, kissing or sex?


Posted in: Non-fiction